The first time, I was too busy getting everything together to think about the risks and just how bizarre it is for a person as a one-man-TV-band to head to Iraq.

But this time I know what to expect, what I need and how to pack it--so I have time for the occasional thought to slip into my head.

The thought that bugs me the most is why I have no fear.

It would make more sense to think about why I am afraid, but I am not afraid and I find myself trying to figure out why I am not afraid.

I once heard a pastor say that God is not the author of confusion or worry.

Worrying is, after all, a sin.

In the Sermon on the Mount, Christ teaches us not to worry.

"Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"

If my lack of concern, worry or fear is to be attributed to anything, it is the grace of God, not the righteousness of my thoughts or deeds for I am far from worthy of entering the Kingdom.

On the first two tours, doors opened and closed.  Every time a door closed, it caused me more worry, then another door would open.  I can see now that some of the doors that closed, were for good reason.

This time, the doors came flying open at me.  The few doors that I had to wait to open, opened at the right time.

I subscribe to a telelogical view of the world.  I have been given certain physical, cognitive and phsychological abilities.

Their application over the years has allowed me to be more than I ever I thought was possible all the way up to the improbable.

Few things could be more improbable than a farm kid from Kansas making TV and movies.

God has given me the abilities, the circumstances and his grace to free me from worry.

I only hope my work can do justice to what he has given me.

And that is what I think should be worring me. 

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